The Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookie

Wow, it has been awhile since my last post!  Since then, I have moved closer to Pittsburgh and begun my third year of permanent, full-time teaching.

And I am continually on a quest to make the perfect chocolate chip cookie - soft and moist on the inside, with juuust enough crisp on the outside for a satisfying texture difference.

So here is the latest recipe:

2 1/4 c PLUS 2 tbsp flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
(add 1/3 c cocoa powder to flour mixture for double chocolate cookies)
2 stick room-temperature butter
1/2 c white sugar
1 c light brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
2 large eggs
2 cups (a 12 oz bag) semi-sweet chocolate chips or chocolate chunks

Cream butter and sugars in a large bowl until light and fluffy, 1 to 2 minutes.  Add vanilla and eggs and mix until combined.  In a separate bowl, sift (or mix with a fork) flour, baking soda, and salt.  Add in three increments to creamed butter mixture and mix until just combined.  Fold in chocolate chips/chunks.  Drop onto cookie sheets, however big you'd like to make them!  Place on rack in 350 degree oven and start checking on them at 8 minutes.  They should be puffy, but give a slight crackle when you touch the top.  Remove from oven and set to cool for a few minutes.  Transfer to wire cooling rack to cool completely ... who am I kidding?  I ate three within the first 5 minutes!

The end result SHOULD be soft, gooey cookies with the slightest bit of crunch on the outside.

Late

Why?  Why do things never seem to work out the way I want them to, or they way they start out?  Why does everything that's really important have to be so hard?

A close friend of mine has often told me that women always want to fix - girls, is this true?  If you're a fixer, how do you stay happy in your relationship?  I guess I'm assuming that you, at least once, have felt the need to "fix" your man.

So often I think of my life in terms of song lyrics.  The song "Yellow" by Coldplay has always kind of been my song.  In my little girl fairy tale thoughts, I want my knight in shining armor to say, "Look at the stars, look how they shine for you ... "   Or how about "Green Eyes"?  I have green eyes ... "Green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find.  And anyone who tried to deny you must be out of their mind. ... And honey you should know that I could never go on without you."  I know men say these types of things!!!

I'm sorry this post has been so disjointed, but I'm sure you can figure out some things that are going on with me right now.

I rarely stay up past midnight, and I still haven't given the kittens their milk ... so goodnight, and please comment.

Me.

OK, so here goes. 

The thought of putting very personal things out there for "everyone" to see just popped into my head a few days ago.  It's like someone was whispering, "You should do this, it would be good for you."  So I guess I should just start with a list of flaws/personality traits/things that make me me ... whatever.

(Not in any particular order)

1.  Sometimes when I make decision, I'll fret over whether or not I'll enjoy the outcome.  For instance, a friend asked me to work at a day camp this week.  It was only a week, but still, after I said yes, I worried about where I was going to park, how much longer it'd take me to get there with traffic, what would I eat, where would I eat, would the kids like me, etc. etc. 

2.  I can have firm goals set and be very determined ... for about a week or two, then it goes away.  Example:  I want to lose weight and was doing very well with going to the gym and eating right for about two weeks.  Now I'm back to trying to convince myself that I really like my body just the way it is.

3.  I'm not good with my money.  I spend too much sometimes and try to rationalize it.

4.  I would be content with laying around and watching TV all day.  In fact, that's pretty much been most of my summer.  Oh, sleeping in late too.  Should I feel guilty about this?  Should I feel like a waste of life for the 11 weeks that is my summer break?  Or should I feel that it's OK that I'm not doing much, that I deserve it and it's OK?

5.   I love my job, but what I've always wanted, ever since I was in elementary school,  was to meet my husband and live happily ever after.  I want kids too, but the husband part has been almost ever-present in my mind.  Future marital joy/love/peace/harmony/communication/JUST KNOWING THAT IT'S RIGHT is extremely important to me.  I want the fairytale.

6.  Last night, reading and watching videos about people truly hating on this whole Chick-fil-a thing made me cry.  Real tears.

7.  I still feel like I'm waiting for my life to start.

Maybe at least one of my friends out there, or who knows, someone I don't know, has been able to relate to me, and hopefully you feel better now.  I know I do.  I've just been having a lot of internal struggles lately, and it feels really good to put them "down on paper." 

More to come.